With his new book, Self Matters,
Dr. Phil McGraw tells everyone
to take care of themselves
because “you can’t give away
what you don’t have.”
McGraw has extra reasons to be proud of Jay,
who appears to be following in his father’s
footsteps. During a planning meeting for the world. She coaxed him into appearing on her “I’m just not necessarily someone you
book Life Strategies for Teens, which the show, and soon those occasional appearances might want to stand near at a cocktail party,” he
elder McGraw was supposed to write, Jay evolved into a regular spot on Tuesdays. In laughs. “There’s no telling what I might say.”
spoke up and said he’d like to give it a go. response to his commonsense solutions to peo- We’ve all heard the expression that if you
Explaining that his “father hadn’t seen hair in ple’s problems, Winfrey encouraged him to can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at
30 years and had no idea what it’s like to be a write a book. He finally did just that, publish- all. McGraw’s version is: If you can’t say
teenager,” Jay felt he was the better-qualified ing the wildly successful Life Strategies in something true, don’t say anything. “So some-McGraw. The resulting book was a bestseller 1999 and Relationship Rescue in 2000. times I just don’t say anything at all,” he adds.
that Jay followed last November with McGraw’s popularity as an author and TV When he does talk, he is not short on an
Closing the Gap. personality has continued to soar, so it seems audience. Life Strategies has spent more than
Family matters
Despite all of his success with CSI, his
books and working with Winfrey, McGraw
says one of the things he is proudest of is the
fact that in all of the time his two sons have
been growing up, he’s missed only two
games or school programs.
In fact, his family is such a priority for
him that even when he’s in meetings with any
number of important people, his staff knows
that if his wife or sons are on the phone, he
will gladly accept the call. He jokes that it’s
usually something “important,” like asking
where the basketball pump is.
McGraw’s oldest son, Jay, 22, began law
school last fall at Southern Methodist
University in Dallas and Jordan, 15, started
high school.
Although he plays the proud papa with
both sons, referring to the two as real stars,
DANNY TURNER
“I was not surprised that he did the sec- only natural that he is scheduled to begin his 50 weeks on the New York Times bestsellers
ond book,” says McGraw. “He really did a own talk show this coming fall. Although it’s list, and his books have been translated into
good job on that first book, but, man, did still a work in progress, McGraw hopes the 25 languages.
he nail the second one. He has his mother’s program will allow him to continue doing “I think people were sick to death of
sensitivity and his dad’s straightforwardness, some of the things he’s done on Oprah. being told what they wanted to hear instead
and I think that’s a great and powerful com- “We’re gonna be dealing with a lot of the of what they need to hear,” explains McGraw,
bination for a young person.” traditional issues that confront people in their who adds that people may not like what he
day-to-day lives,” he explains. has to say, but at least they know it will
Media matters In helping others, McGraw readily alwaysbethetruth.
Although finding his actual self was an acknowledges not only the fun that he has on And so it is that the very direct 3-year-old
incredible experience for McGraw, he readily Oprah, but also the responsibility attached to grew into “a good ol’ country boy” whose
admits that Oprah Winfrey changed his life. having so many people listen to and follow claim to fame is an unnerving ability to dish
When Winfrey first introduced him to her his advice. It is, he says, a privilege. “I hope up a good dose of common sense.
audience, it was right after she had won the to provide some leadership and guidance,” he “I’m not any different in the way I do
libel suit brought against her by the Texas cat- notes, “but at no time do I ever expect people things than I was before I ever wrote a book,
tlemen. Winfrey employed CSI to help her to substitute my judgment for their own.” before I ever went on television or ever did
prepare for the trial, where McGraw helped You do have to wonder, though, if being anything in the public eye,” McGraw muses.
her understand and face the situation. The so unabashedly direct sometimes doesn’t do “I like to think I stayed the same. They just
two have been good friends ever since. more harm than good. Although his tell-it- turned on the cameras.” C
Winfrey has called him one of the best like-it-is attitude makes his wife nervous
psychologists she’s ever known, and she sometimes, overall McGraw finds that his
wanted to share his talents and skills with the approach has been a huge net positive.
