The Costco Connection - September 2017

WHY IS YOUR business not going to the next level? Often, we blame the market, sales teams, partners—everyone but ourselves. But what if it’s the way you deal with fear that is holding you back?

In today’s competitive workplace, we all feel fear. It may not seem that way. You may look at more successful competitors and think that, because they’re always taking huge risks, they’re fearless. I assure you this is not the case. They likely just have a more progressive relationship with fear, in that they’re willing to feel it and use it to their advantage.

Here’s how you, too, can do the same: • Get to know your patterns around fear.

Recognize when you’re procrastinating or avoiding taking that next scary step. Realize this is you, avoiding fear. Avoiding fear is not only exhausting, but it delays you from pitching a new idea, trying a new marketing approach and more, resulting in missed opportunities.

• Shift your perspective. Fear is not a prob-
lem to be solved, but rather a natural certainty
that comes whenever you consider expanding
your business. Think of it as a resource to be
tapped into to help you be more focused, pay
closer attention to details and bring your A-game
to meetings. It’s also one of the greatest motiva-
tors around; fear of failure gets a lot of people out
of bed in the morning. Fear is also aligned with
intuition and instinct.

• Use this perspective shift to end resistance and instead lean in. Next time fear shows up, pause and focus on the uncomfortable feeling in your body. (Note: If it’s in your mind, that is not fear—those are your thoughts about fear.) Where do you physically feel the tightness or constriction? Lean into this feeling.

• Now start your task, and allow this feeling to help you come alive.

With practice, this process can become easier over time, and it will ultimately prove to be one of the greatest shifts you make, getting you excited and connected to any challenge involved in launching your next great idea. C

Use fear as an edge

BY LISA FIELDS

IF YOU’RE a seasoned small-business owner, you may understand your customers’ needs and employees’ concerns. But are you receptive to their feedback? Many entrepreneurs coast by on assumptions and past successes, but you can deepen connections and grow your business if you take time to listen to your clients and workers.

There’s always room for improvement, even if you’ve cornered the market.

“While [business owners] might be the experts at what they do, the customers are the experts at what they need,” says listening expert Graham D. Bodie, professor of

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KRISTEN ULMER

Kristen Ulmer was the best woman extreme skier in the world for ;; years; she now educates a wide variety of clients on the subject of fear.

She is author of The Art of Fear: Why Conquering Fear Won’t Work and What to Do Instead (Harper Wave, ;;;;;

not available at Costco).

Lend an ear, reap rewards

communication studies at Louisiana State
University in Baton Rouge. “The customer
tells people, ‘Here’s how I want to be sold
to. Here’s what’s important to me.’ Then the
salesperson can tailor their responses to
that express need.”
To become a better listener, try the fol-
lowing techniques.

Reflect. How do you interact during
conversations? “Think about how much you
attend to that person,” Bodie says, “and how
much you’re interrupting, talking or think-
ing about what to say next.” Ask clients and
workers to rate your listening skills, Bodie
says, “taking feedback seriously as con-
structive criticism, as opposed to a self-
defeating tirade.”

Speak less. It may seem counterintui-tive, but letting customers monopolize conversations works. “Most salespeople would say, ‘If you just let me talk, I can persuade you,’ but research shows that the best form of persuasion is self-persuasion,” Bodie says. “When [salespeople] listen more, they realize the conversation goes smoother; there are less headaches and more sales.” Speak ;; percent of the time;

listen the other ;; percent.

Show your intent. Ready to listen? Put away your cellphone. Make eye contact.

Wear a pleasant expression. And make helpful comments. “You’re saying things like, ‘Right,’ ‘Tell me more,’ ” Bodie says. “You’re asking open-ended questions, paraphrasing, repeating back to the person, ‘This is what I hear. Is this what you’re really saying?’ ”

Acknowledge concerns. Clients with complaints and workers with ideas can become repeat customers and loyal employees if your listening skills satisfy their needs. You don’t even have to grant anyone’s wishes. “Listening isn’t agreeing; it’s just a recognition,” Bodie says. “There’s a feeling that you’re being responded to appropriately: ‘The listener—the boss—is responsive to my needs.’ ” C