The Costco Connection - October 2018

Jessica Notini

( jessicanotini.com), a Costco member, teaches negotiation skills. She is principal of Notini Mediation, Facilitation and Training Services in the San Francisco Bay Area.

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when you build in breaks
between sessions and antici-
pate some back-and-forth.

Pressure can derail the process.

Let’s
negotiate

Switch from an
adversarial to a
collaborative approach
for best results
by JESSICA NOTINI

ammering out deals isn’t just for
sales reps and attorneys. Teens
negotiate with their parents over
curfews. Employees advocate for
raises and promotions. Business owners
hash out deals with vendors and suppliers.

Those negotiations may seem adversarial, but the process doesn’t have to yield a winner and a loser. Increasingly, negotiations emphasize collaboration and consensus to make sure that both parties are enthusiastic about their piece of the pie.

I view negotiation as a conversation between two people who have some shared interests, some different interests and maybe some conflicting interests. To reach consensus, each party will have to make some trade-offs. But when we transform a negotiation into a collaboration, we create value for everyone.

Before your next negotiation, take a few minutes to think through three key aspects of a successful exchange:

The transaction itself. What are your interests? What really matters to you?

What do you think the other party cares about most? What do you need from this negotiation? Where can you be flexible?

If you’re a vendor, rather than negotiating on cost, emphasize customer support, quality, durability and/or other traits or unique features that add value to what you’re selling.

The relationship. Think carefully about who you’re sending to the negotiation table and where and when you’re meeting. Everything you do should convey that you take the process seriously and respect the other party’s time and interests.

H

You’re not just negotiating a deal;

you’re negotiating a relationship. How you get along and whether you like each other are critical. This seems obvious, but it’s often overlooked. Rapport is important, because we give more concessions to people we like—and sometimes do crazy things to spite those we dislike.

The process. Negotiation can be uncomfortable, so many people make the mistake of leaping right into the bargaining phase. Avoid doing that, because a race to the bottom line thwarts the give-and-take process critical to a successful negotiation.

Remember that if you start with your last word, you’ve got nowhere to go.

One of my favorite authors, G. Richard
Shell, says, “Concessions are the lan-
guage of collaboration.”
When you leave yourself room to
make a concession or two in the negotia-
tion process, you build trust because the
other party feels you’re accommodating
them to reach a mutual goal.

Learn to listen

To conduct a successful
negotiation, don’t launch into
a monologue about your busi-
ness or your budget. Instead,
ask the other party open-end-
ed questions about their long-
term goals and vision.

The more information you can gather, the better you will understand what motivates them, and the more targeted and e;ective your negotiations will be.

Listening has another benefit, too: Focused, authentic attention builds trust and goodwill, and you’re more likely to want to work out a deal when you feel a genuine connection.—JN